ebullition.blogspot

2003-06-23T22:23:00.000-04:00

Dude, I have a POMERANIAN! Rock on! :-P ;) Yes, his name is SCOUT! I love that dog! :-D

2003-06-23T22:21:00.000-04:00

What Common Breed of Dog Are You?
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2003-06-23T15:44:00.000-04:00

The Lost Soul

What sign of the Black Zodiac are you?
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2003-06-23T15:29:00.000-04:00

Your Heart is Blue

What Color is Your Heart?
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2003-06-23T15:15:00.000-04:00

What Is Your Animal Personality?
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2003-06-23T15:07:00.000-04:00

Goddess of the Night. Beautiful yet a strange
darkness and sadness lurk about you.

What element would you rein over? (For Girls)
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2003-06-23T14:58:00.000-04:00

dependent

Which Personality Disorder Do You Have?
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2003-06-07T13:13:00.000-04:00

The last weekend break of the school year!
Friday @ about 7:30 PM I went up to Mae Stecker Park for some volleyball and chillin' out. Kyle's mom brought some pizza for all of us :-) Jenn and Ash -- I like Squirt! lmfao! Oh, and the whole night Ryan was groping me and feeling my butt -- so that was cool! lol! :-P He is the tittie master! ;) The "Whirly Bob" gave us headaches so we laid down on the bridge. "Children are gifts" Ryan -- let's make some gifts! lmfao! :-* Jessica and I made the girl playing leftfield cry :'( because we told her she sucked. I felt bad :-\ After it got dark outside we all went over to Maria's. Ryan's dad was nice enough to drive me all the way home, but first we had to stop back at the park 'cause Ryan left his shoes there. There were like five pairs of socks laying around and Grant's Utica sweatshirt! :-\ I got home @ 11:30 PM and went to bed! O:)
Saturday I had my favorite cousin Beth's graduation party! O:) I'm so proud of her -- she had the fourth highest GPA in her graduating class! I love you Beth Anne Meray with all my heart! Good luck at Central and all that you do with your life, you mean the world to me and I love you more than anything. I've always looked up to you and I have had so many great times with you. I don't know what I would do without you in my life. I hope I can be half the person you are! BAM and JAM 4E! :-D

2003-06-02T00:59:00.000-04:00

Not as great as the last, but this weekend was pretty great!
Friday was the Davis-Heritage Freshman "mixer" up at Stevenson. Mr. Samuel Jaber was my date ;) *Sam is oh-so-hot* lol! I took a lot of great pictures of all the great looking guys, even though I was looking much less than great :-\ and I got to see a lot of my Heritage friends that I haven't seen all this year! O:) I can't wait 'til next year @ SHS! :-P
Saturday night I went to the movies with Ashley, Jenn, Wallie, Charles, and Ryan! Before the movie started I got my "toffee coffee" from Cafe` Europa! :-D I had to sneak it into the show along with Charlie's Mountain Dew lol! "The Italian Job" was actually a pretty good movie *two thumbs up* lol! Some frickin' HOT guys in it! =-o Yeah, that was the best part of my weekend!
-- I love the 8 MILE tingles -- :-P lmao!
Sunday @ like 4 PM Jenn YEE came over to try and do homework -- Mission Impossible. The only thing accomplished was our cameras getting developed and like 15 of our 80 Chemistry Review problems! It's so sad, I really needed those points too! :-\ Time for bed, maybe I'll wake up early and feel like being responsible...

2003-06-02T00:35:00.000-04:00

MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND
Friday night I went to the movies with Aaron, Mike, Jenn, Elise, Amanda, and Ashley! While we were waiting for the movie to start seating -- me, Elise, and Aaron all went for a ride on the elevator. Yes, there is an elevator at AMC30 for those of you who didn't know ;) Yeah, so we went up and down about 20 times. "Is this our floor? Nope!" *presses button* lmao! Bruce Almighty was hilarious! I had some good laughs! :-D It was pretty good fun, and thanks to Jenn and Amanda for decorating my cast!

Saturday I went over Ashley's house and chilled 'til like 11 PM that night. We watched my favorite movie -- The Princess Bride 'cause Ashley hadn't seen it in a while. "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father, prepare to die!" That is the greatest movie ever! :-D ;) Not a very good day though -- R.I.P Murphy Brown -- you'll be missed :'(

Davis Freshman Formal -- May 25, 2003: Greatest Night Ever!
Sunday night was the Davis Formal at the Monte Carlo Club -- it was so awesome! I did a lot of crazy dancing and things that would embarass most people, but it was so great! I set aside being shy for the night and conquered my anxiety of singing in front of people :-D 'cause when "Angel" came on I just had to sing it! *American Idol* -- lol! I also posed for the elementary school pictures all by myself -- Oakbrook representin' lmao! @ Matt's house afterwards I couldn't keep my party animal inside (or my clothes on), so I did a nice back flip into his pool in my undies! lmfao! He thinks I'm fuckin' retarded -- others thought it was fuckin' hilarious! Okay, ripping my cast off was a *little* extreme, but if I didn't take it off it woulda been soggy and stanky for the next two weeks :-\ lol! I went to Kelly D's after and spent the night. Craziest night -- definitely memorable! 5/25/03 <-- night to remember...

2003-06-02T00:34:00.000-04:00

I am SO behind on this whole journal thing -- gotta catch up!

2003-05-22T23:16:00.000-04:00

Pent up with anger from people that I hate
They depress me to the point where I sit and contemplate
I wonder why I associate with people who bring me down
They don't bring out any positive, the negative surrounds
Looking for the bright side, my sight is besieged with gray
In disbelief that the little things can ruin my whole day
Instead of speaking my mind directly to their faces
I wander off and find myself in distant dark places
I'm alone here, writing my feelings as they break the surface
This is my refuge, my salvation from being nervous
It's all I can grip on to that will relieve me from this strife
Without my sanctum, I'm as cold as the blade of a steel knife
The knife that calls my name with conviction and desperation
The answer to my problems and all my devastation
No one understands the pressure pushing on your back
Closer to the edge with every realization of what you lack
Easily disturbed, easily frustrated, and easily upset
I am my own worst enemy, I am my own worst threat
With every word revealed is a burden lifted from my grief
The sun creeps above the horizon, a sudden feeling of relief
Clarity restored, no more problems to worry about
After another line is written, I fix another doubt
Now to face the music, as I triumph confusion again
My conscious has matured, but this is not the end
People cannot step on me, I reside higher than all of this
I'm oversensitive and I see why they say "ignorance is bliss"

2003-05-20T18:19:00.000-04:00

Have you ever said "Yes", when you wanted to say "No"?
Or had a hard time getting over something and just couldn't let go?
Have you ever wanted something so bad, that it was all you could think about?
Or have you ever had what you wanted, and still been filled with doubt?
Do you know what it's like, to know you've made a mistake?
But you couldn't change it back, and that's what you couldn't take?
Have you ever done something that wasn’t worth its cost?
And then released your tears at the realization of what you’d lost?
Have you ever been with someone, but been thinking about someone not there?
Or lead someone on to believe you when in truth you didn’t care?
Have you ever made an obtuse mistake and apologized that same day?
And expected that since you apologized everything would simply be okay?
Have you ever ignored the feelings that tore you up inside?
And it was transparently obvious that you had something to hide?
Have you ever wanted to do something, but couldn’t find the right way to?
And hesitated to act on your feelings and follow them through?
Has someone ever given you the butterflies inside of your heart?
But you couldn’t be with that person and that’s what tore you apart?
Have you ever desired to tell a person that you think you’re in love with thee?
Or have you ever told the person you loved, “You mean everything to me”?
Do you ever hold back the truth from those that mean the most within?
‘Cause you’ll have to admit the lies and you don’t even know where to begin?
Have you ever had a secret that churned inside and you wanted to reveal?
Don’t you hate that the best things in life are those that you have to conceal?
Have you ever thought about something and been overwhelmed with fear?
Or have you ever imagined someone and the image was crystal clear?
Have you ever been with someone and it just felt so right?
And that made you realize that the battle was worth the fight?
Have you ever had your heart tell you what you should try to strive for?
Or has your heart ever felt so strong that your mind has no control anymore?

2003-05-20T18:15:00.000-04:00

I haven't made any entries in a while! Didn't tell anyone about my weekend either! :-\ I'll update you! lol!

FRIDAY:
I went to Mallory's with a bunch of people. Chilled by the fire, ate marshmellows :-P, jumped on the trampoline, and watching Lucy and Nick makeout! :-* It was a pretty great time! I made one fatal mistake, that made me realize: don't kiss people you don't like. Kissing someone you don't have feelings for is like kissing a wall! No fun! (unless you're into walls) :-\ lol! I started the fire up again by throwing hay into it with Jenn. lol! I made fire! I got picked up around 11 PM and went home!

SATURDAY:
Dave & Buster's with the YEE family and Ashley. I charged my power card up with $10 worth of points. Fifteen minutes later: all out of points. lol! Jenn, Ash, and I all played a horse racing game and lost to a bunch of little boys :-\ lol! Kinda sad...but oh well! I won a little radio too! I guess that was worth $10, right? ha! Afterwards I went over Ashley's and chilled over there 'til late around 11 PM. Our night was spent on the computer, surprise surprise. But, I managed to have a great time! :-D lol. My brother and I had a crazy ride home. Not really crazy, but funny. Some bitch cut us off, so we followed her for like 3 miles! lmfao! 5/17/03 - - good times.

SUNDAY:
I went shopping at the mall with my mother, which doesn't happen often. I found a dress for formal and made an appointment to get my hair done. I got home and setup plans to get together with Dwyer and YEE for our DOE final exam project. We got to drop eggs from different heights on different surfaces (grass, cement, and dirt)! It was great fun! lol! ;) Then back to my house: back to homework: back to school the next day.

THE END! :-D

2003-05-10T23:31:00.000-04:00

@ like 4:40 PM today I headed up to Stroh's for the DDR tournament, but by the time I got there Mike had already competed. :-\ and people were leaving in like an hour and I had just gotten there! lol. I ended up playing some pinball and eating ice cream O:) Jenn's mom picked us up @ like 6:15 PM and we went over Ashley's. We watched Coyote Ugly and then went upstairs around 9 PM to talk online and try to make plans for the night. Instead we ended up making niiice rhyme schemes: (abbd bcce cddf fdda eccb dbbc) and laughing for hours and hours :-) I never realized how much fun you can have sittin' by the computer. I love you girls! Great night! :-D

2003-05-10T15:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was pretty good fun.Seventh hour during the pep assembly I went with Tommy and John to 7-11 :-P and then we came back after school was out. Sam's band Failed Attempt was playing, so that was cool. I hung by Kelly Roettger and RZ and we watched all the crazy mosher's (Joan) lmfao. John's mom picked us up @ 4 PM and she drove me out to Shelby for the Davis vs. Shelby soccer game. YEE was there, so I talked to her the whole time and then Jeff showed up too. Shelby won and then Judy drove Jeff home and dropped me and Jenn off at Jenn's house. I went inside Jenn's house (she didn't want me to) but I did =-o lol. I met her sister Caroline (who loves me oh-so-much) :-\ Jeff picked us up at 7:45 PM and we picked up Ashley and then stopped at Marie's house for a visit. Maria was there, and so were Sarah and Kelly (I didn't know who they were) We stayed longer than we intended to, so we couldn't go to the mall like we originally planned. Me and Jeff were hungry so we stopped at BK. After BK we went over to Eric's and surprised him :-D I love randomly showing up people's houses uninvited. lol. ;) Mike, Charlie, Mallory, Gianna, and Kyle were already there watching SE7EN, so I got comfy right away by sprawling across everyone's lap. :-) I left at 11 PM with Jeff, Ashley, and Jenn and they drove me home to the "BFE" (big fucking east) lmao. Ashley called me around 11:45 PM and I was half sleeping throughout our whole conversation that lasted 'til 1:15 AM. lol. I fell asleep like two seconds after I hung up the phone. *yawn* lol. Now I gotta get ready for the day and figure out what I'm doing tonight! lata!

2003-05-04T14:39:00.000-04:00

Strawb3rriTwist (11:36:02 PM): i thought teret syndrome was like a pooping disorder?

Now that's pure intelligence. Heather said that to me last night, and sadly...she was serious.

2003-05-04T12:58:00.000-04:00

Last night I went to the movies with Wally, Lucy, Nick, Charlie, Jenn, Ashley, Heather, Mallory, Kevin, Kyle, Grant, and Maria (I hope I didn't forget anyone, tell me if I did) to see X2. I had a few good outbursts during the movie, but the people in front of me didn't seem to enjoy them as much as everyone else did. lol. After the movie we chilled around and waited for people's rides to show up. This guy named James from De LaSalle came over and started talking to us. Dude, he was hot! lol! :-* He hugged me good-bye! :-D When my mom got there I had her take me to the Cafe` Europa so I could get another yummy toffee coffee. ;) Then I went home and talked online for a few hours. Last night was good fun! But, school tomorrow, so I gotta start any homework I have. :-\

2003-05-03T14:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday was so-so. After school my step-brother picked me up and drove me to Malow for the Shelby vs. Heritage soccer game. I hung out with Charles the whole time and we had great fun! Inside Malow we walked around and talked to one of his old teachers. And we walked into the dance that was going on and saw our MST classmates dancing (I think they were the only freshman there) Pretty pathetic! We got kicked out of the dance, so we decided it was time to go out and watch the soccer game because it was about to start. Charlie and I talked about some funny topics (love handles and ripples) lmfao. I love Charles he is my best friend! During half-time Jenn's mom drove us up to a party store where Charlie had *connections*.

*The three of us walk in to the party store*
Guy at the Counter: "Hey Butch! Earl is here!"
Me: "Charlie, what are you guna buy?"
Guy at the Counter: "Why is she calling you Charlie?"
Charlie: "Because that's my name."
Charlie: "Where's Rob? I haven't seen him in forever."
Guy at the Counter: "I'm Rob!"

lmfao. Charlie you really have great *connections* there! lol ;) Then we went back to the game and watched Shelby win like 5-1 (or something like that). Me and Jenn were going to Ashley's house after so we got in the Judy's van along with Charlie and Qiana because we were going to drive them home. All of us were going to dinner later, but for some reason we were driving them home instead of just going to Ashley's.

Jenn: "Where you going?!"
Charlie: "Where are we going?" :-\
Jenn: "What are you doing?"
Charlie: "Cleaning up my dog's shit."

LMAO! Then Charlie got back in the van and we drove Qiana home 'cause she needed to take a shower and get ready for the night. Charlie, Jenn, and I just chilled at Ashley's while she got ready. Then we went to pick up Qiana around 7:45 PM and out for dinner at Texas Road House. Maria met us there. I didn't eat very well. I had a Shirley Temple, two rolls with butter, and a few french fries with a LOT of cheese :-D We walked to AMC 30 when we finished eating, but it was too late to see a show. Instead of a movie, we walked along the strip and went into a nice cafe` place. I got a "toffee coffee" and it was yummy! :-) Then we went to Wal-Mart and walked around there for a while. The mean ladies at Wal-Mart kicked us out because it was closing, so we went to Farmer Jacks. Qiana bought a bottle of sparkling white grape juice. Apparently that didn't sit well with the rest of the food in my stomach, and I suddenly had the feeling I could throw up :-\ I asked for a cup of water and slowly drank that while I paced around trying to keep my food inside my stomach. That was a damper on the rest of the night, so I didn't really enjoy myself after that. But Jenn gave me a picture of Jennifer Garner (she is the greatest), which kinda cheered me up, but didn't help my stomach. On the ride home I sat in the front seat by Judy and was very quiet. I got home and grabbed a trash can, a bottle of pepto-bismol, and a glass of water and went to the bathroom. I didn't throw up, so that was cool. Online I had three serious conversations with people, so I was kinda upset with myself before I went to bed. It could have been a great night, but due to a few factors, it wasn't. :-(

2003-05-01T18:06:00.000-04:00

Today's game was cancelled! But of course we still had practice! >:o Practice wasn't that bad though :-\ After practice me and the two Kelly's were walking up to 7-11. We walked past this lady in a car and she says, "Excuse me, I'm blind. Can you tell me where I am?" I did my best not to laugh and told her where she was (Plumbrook and Dodge Park). "Is it a gas station?" (It was like a strip mall kinda place) lmao. Good times. That definitely doesn't happen everyday! :-P

ItZyBiTzYdItZy4U: OMG ... we should have told her she was in like indiana er sumthin at a strip club
ItZyBiTzYdItZy4U: lmfaooo... omg next time that happens im gunna
ItZyBiTzYdItZy4U: haha too bad that wont ever happen again

ItZyBiTzYdItZy4U: you always crack me up....and im sure youve already heard this before but welcome to elementary school

lmfao Kelly ^_^ lol you crack me up too! :-D

2003-04-30T21:31:00.000-04:00

My psyche seems a puzzle missing a piece
But I want to tell all what’s on my mind
I can’t grasp the moment to just release
Searching vast for ways to leave qualm behind
Feelings pull me down like quicksand beneath
Perplexed and incoherent when I deem
Confusion and doubt won’t yield or bequeath
Frustration and wishing this was a dream
The wind speaks softly and grazes my face
A breath of fresh air that wakes my thinking
Clarity appears from its hiding place
Like a chain, my thoughts begin their linking
All is lucid, no more worries or fears
Death to sleeplessness and eyes filled by tears

2003-04-29T18:05:00.000-04:00

My life isn't very exciting during the school week, but today the Davis FROSH girls softball kicked some major Chieftain ass! ;) Good job ladies! Erika had a great game with THREE homeruns, two singles, and 6 RBI's. I only got two @ bats 'cause I skipped practice yesterday, but my first up at bat I got a homerun! 8-) Unfortunately, I played uber shitty in the field, so I have to buy the sunflower seeds for the next game. :-\

Final Score:
Davis - 20
Eppler - 4

Season Record: 2-1
Let's go Raiders! :-D

2003-04-28T01:03:00.000-04:00

Check out the time. I can't sleep because I know that I have to return to "school" in like seven hours. I'm anxious and counting down the hours until I have to officially wakeup. I think I'll burn a CD to help me sleep, but that will probably take me another half hour to figure out what songs I want on it! :-\

2003-04-27T22:17:00.000-04:00

Today @ like 3 PM I decided to go to CJ Barrymore's to meet Charlie, Mike, Wally, Mallory, Amanda, Ashley, and Jenn. I got there @ about 3:20 PM and started walking around outside looking for them. Then I realized that they would probably be playing DDR! Duh! I went in the arcade and sure enough, there they were. Like fifteen minutes later we bought tickets for the Indy Carts. I was excited because I had never gone on them before! 8-) While we were waiting in line we named a girl "dumbass" lol. On the carts I was swerving through the lanes and stopping suddenly when Mal and Ash were behind me. Oh, the CJ employee told me to stop bumping even thought it was Ashley bumping me! BITCH! Then we went back in the arcade and I was a big winner. My total tickets was 657. I used the tickets to buy a cool green blow-up alien. lmao. Mrs. Yee picked us up and drove us all to The Coffee Beanery, but it was closed so we walked to Subway. We chilled in Subway for an hour talking and making fun of the Subway lady and the guy who had his hands down his pants. "Ask him for a high five!" lol. Then we walked to Kroger and stared at the condoms for five minutes. Mallory and I picked out Trojan ribbed condoms and vaginal lubricative gel. lmao. Then we went through the aisles and I acted...retarded. "I have coupon." lmao. Good times. "We need a clean up in aisle five." Judy picked us up from there and we went to Ashley's house. I showed off my basketball skills for a little bit and showed Jenn my awesome slam dunk. :-P lol. Charlie blew up my cool green alien friend and we walked with him along Hayes. 14 honks! lol. "I come in peace." It started to get dark out, so we walked back to Ashley's house and chilled in her basement. I played the drums and Mallory danced. lol. ;) Mallory's dad picked us up at 9:30 PM.

*I put the cool green alien in the backseat*
Mallory: "Are you okay back there?"
Me: "He's uncomfortable. Let me turn him over."
*I turn him so he's lying face up*
Mallory: "That's better, now he can breathe."

LMAO! We are so stupid! lol. And then I was playing with a piece of string the whole ride home. :-\ lol. I got home @ 9:45 PM and came downstairs to the realization that I missed ALIAS! dammit! Oh well, I still had a great time today! But, unfortunately Spring Break is officially over and we're back to school tomorrow. :-( I just want everybody I hungout with this break to know that I've had the best times with all of you! :-D lata!

2003-04-27T12:50:00.000-04:00

I wrote this last night. I consider it more of a song than a poem:

"Guilt Stricken"
I was afraid you’d get hurt, so I sent the pain below
True that it’s better to experience than to never know
But I’m always second-guessing the decisions I make
Constantly wondering if I’ve made a dire mistake
I built up your love and left it unfulfilled and in need
I ripped out your heart and left it there to bleed
I was the cause for all the tears appearing in your eyes
I was the cause for all the anguish and this demise
Guilt stricken, it’s time to wake up and separate feelings
Guilt stricken, it’s time to end the pain and its dealings
I pulled you down and dragged you into all of my pain
Reality and regret crashing down inside like rain
As obvious as my confusion and all of my doubt
You predicted I would be the one to suddenly back out
I built up your love and left it unfulfilled and in need
I ripped out your heart and left it there to bleed
I was the cause for all the tears appearing in your eyes
I was the cause for all the anguish and this demise
Guilt stricken, responsible for all that’s gone astray
Guilt stricken, responsible that I’ve caused you dismay
Don’t you see this is not what I actually want to do?
My intentions were not to devastate and upset you
I tell you, “go”, and hope that you’ll forgive and forget
I want to say, “wait”, but I’m not ready to commit
I built up your love and left it unfulfilled and in need
I ripped out your heart and left it there to bleed
I was the cause for all the tears appearing in your eyes
I was the cause for all the anguish and this demise
Guilt stricken, I pray for a new beginning and no end
Guilt stricken, I pray to God that you’re still my best friend

I hope you understand that... :-[ You should know who you are... :-(

2003-04-27T12:43:00.000-04:00

Last night Charlie had me, Gianna, Jenn, Jeff, Mike, Wally, Mallory, and Maria over his house for a movie. Jenn, Charlie, and I got caught up in an MST conversation and left everyone else out. Yeah, we're cool! :-\ Jenn tried embarrasing me in front of Jeff and everyone else, but it didn't work!

Jenn: "Julie has a pink dildo."
*I get shocked/confused look on face*
Me: "I do not!"
Gianna: "She has a ty-dye one, too."
Me: "Yeah, so that way when I'm trippin' out I can be like "Woah, check out my dildo!"!!"

LMAO. Good times. It took like an hour of deliberation to figure out which movie we were going to watch! :-\ We put it CANDYMAN, but Mike didn't want to watch it, so he ruined it for everyone else by talking. Then we put it Glass House, but I didn't want to watch that, so we took that out. Charlie put in American Pie 2, but nobody wanted to watch a comedy so that quickly was taken out! Finally, I put Final Destination in the PS2 and we just watched that. Jeff brought his snow cone maker and made us all snow cones. 8-) lol. I thought Final Destination was a pretty good movie. It had some great lines and funny scenes:

"Carter, you dick!"
The *mentally challenged* guy on the plane.
*Carter pisses his pants*

*FBI guys chasing Alex*
Agent Shrek: "Alex, we're trying to help you!"

During the movie Jeff added a little porno music for the background:
*Watching the movie, two people get really close*
Me: "Makeout with him!"
Jeff: "Bow chica bow wow."

lol! When the movie was over we all went upstairs and outside to wait for our rides. Jeff realized he had left his headlights on all night and had ran his battery low. Good thinking. Jenn, Jeff, and I watched everyone else play *cracked out basketball* while we stood around and talked. Like always, I had a good rip on Charlie! lmao.

*Jeff and Jenn were looking for the Big Dipper in the stars*
Jeff: "There's the Big Dipper" *pointing at the stars*
Charlie: "I think that's the Little Dipper."
Me: "If you want to see the Little Dipper, just pull down Charlie's pants!"
=-o OOOHHH BERRRRRNNN!!! :-P

I am starting to get really good at making fun of Charlie's (you know what). lol. A little bit after 11 PM my dad picked me up and brought me back to my mothers. I'm supposed to be doing homework because this is the last day of break and school is tomorrow, but I wanted to do this entry first! lata!

2003-04-26T15:27:00.000-04:00

e-piph-a-ny n. A comprehension or perception of reality by means of a sudden intuitive realization.

I just had an EPIPHANY! I suddenly realized that I mistook my feelings for more than they actually are. I have had one thing on my mind for the past three weeks, but it just hit me that I don't even care what happens anymore! Suddenly, nothing seems that important to me. I feel so relieved, I can finally think about other shit! :-D

2003-04-26T13:39:00.000-04:00

Last night was pretty great, with the exception of people getting pissed off and leaving spontaneously! My dad picked up Charlie and Gianna and in that small amount of time we started some insiders.

My Dad: "I'm her father, I have the right to kill her."
Gianna: "Can I share that right?"
Me: "You guys are evil!"
Gianna: "Did you just say emu?"

@ around 9:30 everyone got together at Burger King and chilled there before we all walked over to Shelby Lanes.

[While we were waiting for people to meet us at BK]
*Kroger truck drives by*
Gianna: "I think they're here!"

Well, after everyone showed up we headed over to the bowling alley. Cosmic bowling is the greatest! 8-) lol. Ashley and Jenn brought along all their Eisenhower friends, which didn't make some people very happy. But, I bowled pretty good, so that's all that matters. I had some good names last night. I was "Flaming Dyke", "Sexy Bitch", and "Loud Orgasmer". lmao. Yeah, I think everyone heard and saw the effects of my fake orgasms. *My bowling ball flies in lane next to mine* lol. People were constantly walking back and forth from the parking lot, so I kinda chilled talkin' with the hot seniors. lol. Me and Ashley's friend Jeff were worried about her when she took off with her friend Jeremy. I heard he is a shitty driver, so that didn't help calm my worries. Her leaving kinda pissed me off, but oh well. The senior guys had their own lane, but weren't using it so I decided to bowl for three different names. My high score was a 142, and I was just goofing off, so that made me happy. The hot senior guy took my visor, so then I went and took the other hot senior guys hat. lol. When the Ike guys and Ashley and Jenn left, I chilled with Maria and Qiana and we had some bowling ball races. :-P That was pretty much the night. Charlie drove me home and then I watched Battle of the Sexes 'til 6 AM. lol. I need to do something tonight, it's the last night of Spring Break! :-( lata!

2003-04-25T17:54:00.000-04:00

Now that I know how to count syllables, I decided to give this whole "sonnet" thing another try! Nothing special, but here's sonnet #2! O:) :-D

"Take it Back"
Like quicksand beneath, deeper I fall down
I find myself where I don’t want to be
I’ve done this all before, I know this ground
Dread and regret are the only things free
Wishing that I had taken my words back
Tighten the grip on my lips to prevent
Bitter words surface, but the truth I lack
I strive to remain focused and content
Take back all the lies I’ve flooded you with
I brought you into all my confusion
Just when you started to believe my myth
I confessed my doubt and all illusion
Don’t wait if you believe heartbreak is near
With me things aren’t always as they appear

I hope you understand that one. If you don't, just ask and I'll explain. :-\

2003-04-25T15:27:00.000-04:00

Difficult enough to feel a little bit
Disappointed, passed over.
When I've looked right through,
To see you naked and oblivious
And you don't see me

Well I threw you the obvious,
Just to see if there's more behind the
Eyes of a fallen angel,
Eyes of a tragedy.

You don't see me at all.
A Perfect Circle - "3 Libra's"

2003-04-25T15:23:00.000-04:00

I am nothing more than a little girl inside
That cries out for attention
Yet I always try to hide
'Cause I talk to you like children
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing is revealed

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said
Staind - "Epiphany"

2003-04-25T03:17:00.000-04:00

I know I say it every night, but: Tonight was great! lol! Mallory had everyone over her house, and by everyone I mean like twenty people. I would name everyone except I would probably forget to name some people and that wouldn't be good. @ like 7 PM, Ashley rolled up in my driveway with Charles and then we went to pick up YEE! The four of us got to Mallory's at like 7:30 PM and Grant was way up high in the tree and everyone else was jumping on the trampoline. Grant was busting out some nice back flips making mine look pathetic. lol. Wally had his bag of "grass" and his plastic knife! Oh, and then we all took a nice long walk to 7-11, and everyone was screaming in *orgasmic tones*! lmao! I was going to go into 7-11 pretending to have Teret's Syndrome, but decided not to. lol. On the way home everyone had fun throwing around the 2-liters of pop, but amazingly none of them exploded! Mike knifed me :-( "Humiliation!" lmao! "Noob!" Mike, dude, we aren't playing CS right now! lol. Gianna said something to me and I laughed and then she was like "Wait, what did I say? I wasn't listening." lmao! WOW! Back at Mallory's we all went down into the basement and started off with Wally and Grant's "sermon" about grass. "Grass is good." lol. We tried to watch Office Space, but instead we just piled onto the couches and dissed everyone in the room. Like always, I had some good ones:

*Sitting on Charlie's lap*
Me: "I think I'm sitting on a peanut. Oh, wait. Charlie's just excited!"
*Charlie pushes me off his lap*
Charlie: "I could prove right now that it's not a peanut."
Gianna: "Please, keep your peanut in it's shell, dammit!"

LMFAO! Gianna: BERRRRNN! lol! Since we couldn't hear the movie, we decided to go back outside for "Hide and Seek", but ended up on the trampoline. Wally was behind me as I was running up the stairs. "Nice." 00 lol! Then I hopped on the swing and Grant pushed me way up high! It was awesome! Gianna got on the swing and almost knocked herself unconscience because she is smart like that. Oh, and then we made some *orgasmic* sounds on the shed!

Gianna: "OOO MMYYY GODDD! OHHHH!"

Back on the trampoline everyone was playing that game where you push the person in the center around. lol. Yeah, it didn't work quite well, but it was still good fun. Oh, it was just greatness when Nick streaked around in his boxers. *Cameron tackles Nick and takes his pants* and then *Mike throws Nick's pants in the tree* lmao. People started leaving during "Truth or Dare" and the people remaining were either on the trampoline or went down in the basement and started listening to Evanescence. 8-) When Ashley, Jenn, and Amanda were leaving I came up from the basement and said bye to them and the rest of people that were leaving. I think I hugged every single person as they were leaving tonight! lol! Mallory and me made some good cinnamon butter after Wally, Grant, and Gianna left. My brother Kyle picked Charlie and myself up around 11:40 PM and like always we had a great ride home. Charles and I were talking about the night and I was trying to remember the insiders so I could put them in my journal.

Me: "I seriously need to bring a pen and paper and write things down as they happen."
Kyle: "You should make a quote book. Whenever someone says something funny, you write that shit down."
Me: "Write that shit down! I always say that! We seriously have the same sense of humor."

Charles enjoys the car rides with my brother and the great music. He thinks Kyle is hilarious! lol. I got home and instantly got online and started working on my journal. Charles (my bestest friend) :-D called me at 1 AM (too late Charles, too late) an we talked on the phone for more than two hours talking about the night, serious shit, and analyzing/making quotes. Confucious is the greatest philospher that ever lived, right Charles?

"It is better to seize the opportunity that has the greater chance of reality, then to struggle for the opportunity that leads to anguish."
^ (that's Charles and mine's quote) ^
"Never underestimate the power of positive thinking."
"Superior minds busy themselves by analyzing the issue until the positive path is revealed."
"The path that is meant to be is illuminated by destiny's light."
"Finding yourself is the first step to acceptance; understanding yourself is the next."
"What appears right for one soul may not be right for another. That may mean having to stand alone doing something unnecessary in the eyes of those watching."
"Within a true friend you find yourself." (that's how I feel about Charles)
"It is easier to contemplate desolate thoughts then to bind them together and discover the picture we'd rather keep hidden. Better to be seen as blind and naive then to see the picture and be distraught."
^ (Charles and I build on each other's thoughts and create deep philosophical quotes) ^

Well, I'll add more later. Wow, this journal entry took me about three hours. Can you say "A.D.D."? I have trouble keeping my attention to one task, but for some reason I can contemplate over one issue for long periods of time! lol! Well, not going to bed yet, but g'nite! O:)

2003-04-24T01:31:00.000-04:00

Tonight was a blast! I met up with all the Shelby people at Beamerz for a night of laser tag and watching people play DDR! :-D Charlie taught me something new on the ride there. The "Oh, shit!" handles! lmfao! Beamerz was packed and I saw a few Davis people like Eric Peck and Justin Howitt. Yeah, me and Justin got dirty while playing laser tag! ;) lol. "I am 16", Jenn, Eric Berry, and GRANT had a nice discussion about lesbians (I think it all started 'cause my code name was "Flaming Dyke"). That might have been the origin! :-P

I am 16: "Would you kiss another girl for $50?"
*Me and Jenn look at eachother*
Me: "Did someone say my name?" *walks away*

*Trying to think of peoples code names* Grant was "Fernando", Jenn was "Yee", Charlie was "O Viggo", and Mallory was "My ass"! "You shot MY ASS!" lol! Jenn and I had some fun confusing people (especially Grant) with our whole "Brady Bunch" scenario. lol! Kevin had this in his info:

Beamerz: $20
Pop: $1.50
Charlie having a glow in the dark dick drawn on his face the whole night: Priceless

LMFAO! Yeah, nice drawing there Jenn! Before the final game of laser tag everyone gathered around me and I told them my first tampon experience story. I think they all enjoyed it (especially the guys)! lmfao! My brother came at around 11:30 PM and played Laser Tag with his friend. After the last game he wanted to leave, so me, Charles, and Jenn said our goodbyes. The car ride home was good fun (me singing and putting my hand in Jenn's face). My brother got kinda lost though (very confused last night for some reason). :-\ lol! But, I thought it was a pretty great night, especially 'cause no one pissed me off! lol. :-D

2003-04-23T18:40:00.000-04:00

Last night was definitely a night to remember! Absolute craziness. To start off the night, GRANT, Ashley, Jenn, Mallory, Charles, and I all went to the fair. But considering no one was there, we decided to go to the movies. Malibu's Most Wanted: if you want to yell at the movie screen and get frustrated from pure stupidity, then I suggest you see this movie.

"I tested positive...for G-A-M-E." lmao! That was the best part of the movie. lol. :-P

Charles and I tried to get into Phonebooth, but apparently the Showcase Cinema managers are anal about rated R movies and youngsters like ourselves sneaking in. Being that we're such creative and spontaneous individuals, we found ways to make our movie more entertaining. I'm sure the other five people in the theater appreciated the loud orgasms and rocking of the cool green chairs that we did! lmao. Good times.
After that we walked through the fair and saw "crazy hair lady" as we were waiting for our elephant ears to be made. lol. The elephant ear guy was weird lookin' too! lmao.
Then we figured that Target would be a more exciting place to spend our time and money. Jenn and Ashley were very nice and picked out a new bra for me, but unfortunately it was too big. Imagine that, a bra that is too big for me. Craziness. lol! Thanks guys! Oh, and then we started picking out Japanese gear so we could pimp out Jenn's future car! lmao! And Charles got in trouble because he was playing with those big balls (the bouncy ones, sicko). He also thought it would be funny to spray Mallory and Ashley with Axe Deodorant Body Spray all over their backs. :-\ Smart guy, lacks common sense, but a smart guy. ;) I bought some strawberry lip gloss and some Certs mints. (I almost bought the Shaq hat, but was convinced not to) :-D

Note to self: Certs + sour spray = gross taste in mouth.

And we all found out about Grant's unusual eating habits (live goldfish and whole grapes)! Crazy!
After Target we went over Mallory's house with a 12-pack of Mountain Dew and a bag of Munchos and watched Meet the Parents. I feel bad for that Gay Focker, don't you?
Mr. Yee (who loves me oh-so-much) picked us up around 11:30 PM and dropped off Ashley and myself over Ash's house for the night. Jenn couldn't sleepover. :-( But, we still managed to have fun without her! lol. After talking online to Charles and being on the phone with Jenn, me and Ashley watched Drumline (I thought it was pretty good). Then we went downstairs and chilled there 'til 7 in the morning! Craziness! I bet you're wondering, "What were they doing 'til 7 in the morning?" I'll tell you what I was doing: kicking Ashley's ass in a huge pillow fight that lasted for like an hour! She says she won, but...she didn't! :-P The pillow fight got me all sweaty, so we chilled and talked about the night. Oh, and then we had another pillow fight, but it only lasted for about five minutes. I liked that pillow fight the best. lmao! haha! I'm good (on the floor) lmao! :-*
Well, after all that craziness we finally decided it would be a good idea to get this thing called "sleep". That was a great, and very interesting night. I would say a LOT happened! Wouldn't you agree? Now I'm off to get ready for tonight, hopefully it will be just as exciting! :-D lata!

2003-04-21T15:01:00.000-04:00

I'm not afraid of these feelings here inside
Earshot - "Not Afraid"

2003-04-21T01:06:00.000-04:00

I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you
But who can decide what they dream? (and dream I do)
Evanescence - "Taking Over Me"

2003-04-20T23:41:00.000-04:00

GRANT told me to write a sonnet, and I had NO IDEA how to do it! (we haven't studied Shakespearean literary styles, yet) but I gave it a shot! Most of the lines have 10 syllables, yay for me! :-D

The feelings I grasp when he is around
Nervous, in my stomach I get butterflies
Quiet on the inside, holding in sound
Hiding my feelings with a dark disguise
Pretending to be something I am not
Can you see past the act I display?
The real me is that of which I've forgot
Concealing in fear of what others will say
He tells me there's nothing to fear
Follow your heart and it will all unwind
Destiny illuminate's the truth that's near
Simplifying ways to speak your mind
Never knew love until he entered my life
Didn't realize it could cause such strife

Not too shabby, eh? Thanks Grant! abab cdcd efef gg! lol!

2003-04-20T21:33:00.000-04:00

Every moment I think of you is every thought that shatters... :-\
Earshot - "Wake Up"

2003-04-20T21:12:00.000-04:00

I'm sick of always hearing all the sad songs on the radio
All day it is there to remind an oversensitive girl that she's lost and alone
I hate a favorite restaurant, a favorite movie, our favorite show
We would stay up all through the night
We would laugh and get high and never answer the phone
I can't forgive, can't forget, can't give in
What went wrong? 'Cause you said this was right
You fucked up my life
Blink 182 - "What Went Wrong"

2003-04-20T14:36:00.000-04:00

Are you willing to risk and maybe lose everything over something that might never happen anyway? :-\

2003-04-20T13:13:00.000-04:00

"The Only Words"
Forgetting the words I had in mind,
Just wanting to speak what is true.
You steal my thoughts and ideas,
All my feelings except, "I love you".
That's all I can use to express,
Merely how you make me feel.
Like a memory that's been forgotten,
I've lost clarity and nothing's real.
Nothing to represent my thoughts,
No way to explain my love's extent.
I try to write it out in a poem,
But words cannot show my intent.
Lost in a single train of thought,
Searching for some other way.
An expression holding more value,
But "I love you" is all I can think to say.

I've only got one thing on my mind (if you haven't noticed) :-D

2003-04-20T12:33:00.000-04:00

Branches hanging above me,
Bright stars in the dark sky.
As we turn and face eachother,
I notice the glaze in your eye.
Neither of us says a word,
It's not necessary for us to speak.
You're lips are calling to me,
A kiss is that of what you seek.
Caught up in the moment,
The stars luminating from above.
I move slowly to prove to you,
That this time I truly am in love.

Charles wrote that originally and I just added my special poetic touch! :-D
"Starlit Kiss" by Charles Mienko and Julie Meray O:)

2003-04-20T03:00:00.000-04:00

"Influence"
Mind straying off topic
Thoughts a binding mess
Hold onto sanity
Hear my cry of distress
I don’t know why I do it
Mess with my mind
I try to escape reality
By leaving it behind
It’s easier to dream
Then to face the real
It’s easier to feel nothing
Than to be how you feel
To be your own words
And hold nothing inside
To be completely yourself
With nothing to hide
Watch the train of thought
Vanish without a trace
Watch the memories come
Then fade slowly and erase
Everything is blurred
Vision and senses paralyzed
Trying to forget my emotions
The real truth is disguised
Ask me anything you desire
I won’t remember anyway
Tell me what you’re thinking
It’s what I need to hear you say
Wondering what’s in your mind
What are you confused about?
Are you unsure for yourself?
Or am I the one with doubt?
Look at this composition
Slowly falling apart
The effects of a substance
Playing with my heart
Incoherent and confused
Not knowing what to do
Trying to stay focused
But all I can think of is you

2003-04-20T02:28:00.000-04:00

Tonight was great! Dinner and a movie with my Shelby friends! I didn't know some of their names but it's all good! @ around 5:20 PM Mike picked me up in his EUROVAN with Jenn, Ashley, Kevin, Lucy, and Walley. Jenn and I got on a nice tangent about the word "virgin"...

Me: I love daquiri's, I always order a VIRGIN strawberry daquiri! I love saying "virgin"!
Jenn: She just likes saying it because she can't anymore! =-o
Me: Jenn's just mad because she'll always be able to say it! BURRRNNNN!!!

We had some people checkin' us out in our cool EUROVAN! lol. Then we got to the movies and met up with Charles, Gianna, Amanda, Grant, and all the "squeaky" girls. We bought our tickets and then all walked over to Texas Road House. Oh, and I ate a LOT of that bread and butter, but more butter than bread! OoOOo! I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue :-* (yes, I'm that good)! lmao! Charles dropped a peanut down Ashley's shirt and then busted a nut! ;) lmao! After dinner we all walked to AMC 30 to see "Holes", which I didn't think was bad. It was okay :) except Mike left us so that he wouldn't get in trouble! lol! GRANT stole my shoe! :-P ;) :-D When the movie was over we lost YEE! It was scary, I thought I had lost her forever! lol! I got home and called Ashley and talked on the phone with her for a little before chillin' with my brother and his friends. Dude, there was some awesome prank calling going on! Good times. O:) Tomorrow (or today rather) is Easter Sunday (and *420* that's bad) lol! I gotta get to bed, so I'll end it with some lyrics that have some meaning. :-D

To know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold utopian dream
You do something to me that I can't explain
So would I be out of line, if I said I miss you?

G'nite! Happy Easter! :-D Sweet dreams...(of me) ;) :-P :-*

2003-04-19T12:51:00.000-04:00

I don't like not knowing how to act or think or feel... :-\

2003-04-19T01:51:00.000-04:00

"Always"
The origin of my emotions, you're all that I need
You're all I can think about, give into you, concede
Pouring desires and wishes that can't come true
Crimson distress from my heart to you
Build up my hopes, and tear the shield down
A masquerade of my feelings when you are around
Failing to seize the moment, swarming with regret
An emptiness in my stomach, you're a beautful threat
Temptation augments, no control of how I feel
When we're together the atmosphere is surreal
Do you share this indescribable sensation?
Do you love me? And have an undying admiration?
Wishing our love would be not as complicated
I still want to stay here and remain advocated
Wondering how long you expect me to wait
Impatience and uncertainty, effects that I hate
Anticipation elevating with each passing day
I've climbed the cliffs and the obstacles in my way
I'll meet you there when it's the right time
Until then you'll be the fixation of my mind
Deep contemplation as I lie awake at night
How can something so wrong, feel so right?
Like a fire in my heart that keeps me alive
I need you in my life forever, so I can survive
I wish there was a better way to describe my emotion
And to illustrate it's depth to that of an ocean
This could be the beginning to a story with no end
Whatever happens you'll always be my best friend

:-[ I'll always love you no matter what :'(

I don't care if things don't workout the way I want them to, as long as they workout for the best and what's meant to be happens. Ya kno? :-\

2003-04-18T14:29:00.000-04:00

Last night was great! I went over Mike's house around 8 PM and chilled with like 25 people. I didn't really know any of them, so I talked to the people I did know. lol! Nothing exciting happened at first I just kinda talked with Ashley by the bar. Then we went outside and me, Jenn, Ashley, and Qiana watched everyone play football and Red Rover (o yes, they are cool like that!) 8-) After the four of us went back inside everyone else slowly followed. I got on the drums and Qiana took the mike and we started making fun of people! "Your momma..." Yeah, I had some good ones!

"Charlie has the biggest shoe size in the room, so obviously that thing they say about the size of a guy's feet to the size of his (you know) is...not true!"
"Does anyone know why Mike is mad? He missed the audition for the Three Ninja's!"
"We did have three drumsticks, but Ashley took it about an hour ago and we haven't seen it since."
"I have an annoucement. This is very important. Please stop pansing the red heads before the house catches on fire!"

LMFAO! Yeah, then we chilled on the staircase. Grant climbed over us like a monkey, it was crazy. Then I sung "Angel" because I'm sucha good singer! ;) Oh, and for the third time we watched Super Troopers, but me, GRANT, Jenn, Ashley, and Eric had a card/chip fight. GAMBIT! lol! Good times. @ 11 PM we had to go outside and wait for our rides. I got home and chilled with my brother and his girlfriend. Then me and Ashley talked on the phone for an hour about...I really can't remember. (No seriously, I can't remember!) Ashley..."Write that shit down! Write that down!" Good shit!

*I'm gonna write a book
*Where's my visor?
*A lot can happen in a second Missy!
*You're a toaster (wtf?! :-\) lol!
*I need a butler
*I'm as serious as a llama
*A-S-H-L-E-Y B-R-O-W-N
*I own a dog, yeah I do!
*You were sad on the way home! :-( I'm sorry! I didn't hear you!
*High in the sky like a blueberry pie! :-P ;)

^^ If you aren't me or Ashley, obviously you won't be able to understand any of that! ^^ :-D

I ate a lot food last night too! I ate a spoonful of peanut butter, a burrito, and a bag of popcorn! DAMN! =-o Then I got to see my brother's friend Dave that I've been in love with since third grade! It was such a great night! I love you! (you know who you are) ;) :-* You're all I think about! :-D

2003-04-12T15:29:00.000-04:00

I don't think this journal is publishing shit! dammit! :-\

2003-04-12T15:07:00.000-04:00

:-D

2003-04-12T15:06:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I've submitted anything into this "journal" of mine, and I have a lot on my mind, but unlike a private journal, everyone is going to read this, so I don't really feel like sharing everything I would like to. Yeah anyways, I have had the same thing on my mind since last Sunday night, and I haven't been able to think about much else lately. Have you ever had something on your mind, and that was all you could think about, and it drove you crazy? Well, that's me right about now. It's not bad, it's really good, but really complicated. I bet you are wondering to yourself, "What the hell is on Julie's mind that has her so outta whack?" The more I think about it, the more I want to do something about it. It's crazy! I've told a few fortunate people including my brother, his girlfriend, and my cousin, but that's it.

Moving on...

Last night I chilled at Ashley's and met her friends Marie and Heather. Charles (my best friend) came over and we all walked to meet Jenn YEE. After that we stayed outside playing basketball and sitting around the "camp fire" talking about random things. It got cold so we went into the basement and jus' chilled on the couch, and I got to see Dave's train with the cool city he built. After Marie and Heather left, the four of us watched a few scenes from 8 MILE (I bet you can guess which ones) ;) Ashley gave me a twenty minute headrub (or I woulda died) and then Charlie and Jenn got picked up. My brother came about five minutes after Jenn left and I had a very interesting talk with him and his girlfriend in the car (about my situation). They were really supportive and helped me out by giving some advice. Before they dropped me off at home we stopped for a late night Taco Bell snack. lol! I got home around 12 AM and went upstairs to talk online for a few. Then I went to bed, and guess what I couldn't stop thinking about? :-D lata!

Ashley, I want Bobby! :-* ;) :-D

2003-04-06T01:34:00.000-05:00

NOT a good weekend. Enough said. Let's just say I ruin the best things I have in my life.

'Cause we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and we can't go back
I'm sorry I can't be perfect

I'm sorry! :'(

2003-03-31T20:55:00.000-05:00

Right now I'm chillin' at Charlie's with Jenn and Ash (of course) doing "homework"! Yeah, Jenn is about to kick Charlie in the balls. lol! I LOVE ASHLEY! I WANT HER BODY! CHARLIE CAN'T HAVE HER, SHE'S MINE! :-P ;) :-* lol (she wanted me to put that) but it's true! lol. Ashley was reading me and Jenn's convo when suddenly we realized there was something in it that we didn't want her to see. Then both of us dived to pull it out of her hands. It was great! LMAO! =-o m||m Charlie and Ashley gave us the middle finger! BiTcHeS! Sweet Home Alabama is on the TV! I'm not watching it though...just typing here! I want Mike's sweet body! lmao! Okay I'm 'bout to stop typing right about NOW! lata! MuaHz! :-* g'nite!

P.S. I WUB WOO! (Teeny) lmao!

2003-03-30T13:27:00.000-05:00

Last night I went with Jenn and Charlie over to Mike's house (I want Mike). We chilled there and watched Super Troopers and finished watching The Ring. Oh, and we went outside and me and Mike re-enacted the Axe Deodorant Body Spray commercials and his grandma came outside as I was feeling his body! lmao! Mike and Charlie smell so damn good! lol! Then Ashley came and picked up me Charlie and Jenn. We dropped off Charlie and headed for my house for the rest of the night! It was awesome! We watched Love and Basketball (great movie), Now and Then (also good movie) and some of SNL with Jennifer Garner as the host! lol! Ashley gave me another two hours of pleasure :-* ;) and we slept together on my TWIN bed :-* ICE CUBE FIGHTS at 3 in the morning! I got my hand down Ashley's pants! =-o lol! My Dad called me on the intercom and told us there were hot cookies upstairs! lol! mmm GOOD! Well, it was great! lmao! I LOVE YOU GIRLS! bff! Jenn thinks we didn't do nething to her in her sleep! *laughs evilly* muahaha!

P.S. Ashley gives me the 8 MILE TINGLES! lmao! ;) :-* =-o

2003-03-26T21:35:00.000-05:00

Today was great! lol. The Shelby kids were at the MST building to watch a live open heart surgery. Well, Ashley was there and I thought it would be kinda funny to SCREAM her name *in an ORGASMIC tone*... After class ended at 10:20 AM I went down to the room where the Shelby kids were. I got ready and yelled "O ASHLEY!!!" and the entire room looked over to see what was going on. It was great. I ran outta there to my bus to prevent getting in trouble! Ashley told me later that everyone was laughing 8-) and people in Ohio even heard me 'cause of the LIVE surgery! Definitely guna remember that moment for the rest of my life 'cause it was great! The rest of the day Ashley had people asking her if they knew who did it..."my lover Julie" lmao!

paaaanda18: everyone turned to me and was like "is she talkin to you?" im like "yeah" there all like "oh who was it" im like "my lover julie!" lol

paaaanda18: i was cracking up
paaaanda18: everyone was
paaaanda18: there was like 175 of us

GOOD TIMES! lol! Hope I don't get in trouble tomorrow! :-D g'nite everyone! g'nite Ash :-* ;) lol

2003-03-25T22:33:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I hungout with Charlie, Jenn, and Ash and we did 'homework'. LOL. I forgot to make a journal yesterday, so here is yesterday's events TODAY. Got it? At Ashley's we all took the GAY QUIZ lol at http://www.thespark.com/gaytest and I had the highest gay percentage! lmao. Yay for me! 36% lmao! The average straight girl is 32% gay, so I'm not that gay! LOL. Then we listened to some music "Special Olympics" by Steven Lynch. 'Kid with downs wins the race, even though he stood in place. Olympics...Special Olympics' LMAO. Then we watched Married by America. Alicia picked us up *crazy driver* and took me and Charlie to Burger King at 10:30 PM lol. Charlie 3 left's make a right! lol! "This place needs better service" LMAO! I love you babes! BFF! Jenn and Ash you girls are so great! ;)

2003-03-23T17:48:00.000-05:00

Saturday night I went over Ashley's with Jenn for a sleepover and to attempt to make fudge for the second time. The fudge making was very successul, it was awesome! And it took like 2 minutes opposed to the 4 hours it took wit' Charlie! Then we watched 8 Mile with Ashley's dad and he fast forwarded thru the best part! LOL. But we went back and watched it MULTIPLE times after he went to bed! LMAO! Then we looked thru Ashley's photo album and I got to see Ashley's butt and her little confrontation with 'Jenn'! LOL. Here are some of the insiders that were formed:

Ashley gave me seven and a half hours of pleasure last night...and this morning! =-O ;-) :-* I owe you!
BOOZUM BOOZUM
Ashley, can I get into your underwear?
*Looking through photo album* Look it's Jenn! I think she likes you Ashley!
8 MILE tingles! ;-) :-P
Makin' FANTASY fudge and then Ashley's FANTASY comin' tru later into the night! ;-) :-*
Ash your dog smells!
Jenn, I farted!
Jenn realized why she was in pain when she woke up... :-\ purple dildo!
LMAO! wow sleepovers are the best ['specially with Ashley ;-)] I had so much fun! :-D

Great night! I don't think I'll be forgettin' that ne time soon! ILU girls! ('specially Ash) :-* ;) BTW...is there ever a point where you can joke about being gay too much? LOL. NAH!

2003-03-21T23:49:00.000-05:00

Tonight I hung out with the coolest people I know (Ashley, Jenn, and Charlie)!! We went over to Mike's house and chilled in his awesome basement! 8-) KARAOKE! Jenn and me sung some Evanescence, but it woulda been better if Mike knew the guitar tabs! Then we played some DDR (me and Jenn are the masters) and Ashley and me made some more gay insiders, like always. Ashley we make each other so wet! ;) Sleepover tomorrow, we can make *fantasy* fudge and then your fantasies can come true after! :-* =-o ;) "I seem to have lost my quarter, can I poke around for it?" LMAO! Jenn is smooth, she took advantage of Ashley without her even knowing! =-o FOR THE FIFTH TIME, I watched "The Ring" and am still scared by it! *Whispers* "Seven days..." LOL! Well, it was a great night and I know tomorrow will be just as great! ('cause I'm seeing Ashley of course) LOL. ;) iight I'm all done! G'nite everyone! Sweet dreams...(of me)!
:-* ;) :-D MuaHz!

2003-03-20T22:30:00.000-05:00

The schedule I'm hoping for my sophomore year:
The / are for semester courses 'cept for Trig!
Honors English 10
Trig/Analytic Geometry/Statistics <-- 1 class
World Studies/Contemporary U.S. History
Biology II
Health/Conditioning for Athletes
Analytical Chemistry/The Law
Spanish I

Exciting, eh?

2003-03-20T22:24:00.000-05:00

Wow! I went from the "worst day I ever had" (yesterday) to an awesome day today! No MST! I just chilled in the library with my fellow MST nerds playing Egyptian Ratscrew and BS! Third hour I went to Weaver's Bio class and played the review game! I also learned a lil' about EVOLUTION! Great stuff! No softball practice, that was kind of a bummer, but then I got to relax at home and my mom ordered Chinese for dinner. "Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you." Thank you Mr. Fortune Cookie, that is very reassuring. Then I had a great convo wit Ashley (like always) and we planned our Spring Break! 8-) It's guna be so great Ash! Now I'm guna put together my C++ binder and finish my schedule. G'nite everyone! :-D Sweet dreams...(of me!) ;) O:)

2003-03-19T22:40:00.000-05:00

Today might have been one of the worst days I have had in a while! Let's start with my 7:50 AM C++ test that I had. I don't know the computer language very well, especially not at 8 in the MORNING! So, that should be a nice F. Moving on to Chemistry, we had a sub (that's cool though) but Stafford left us with like 15 questions (didn't do them). Then Math is always boring, I don't even remember what our homework was, but I will do that 'cause it's easy. History test 4th hour, I think I coulda passed that under the influence of every illegal drug in the US. The other classes aren't even important, but after school was where it kinda sucked the most. Went home and chilled, thinking I had a ride to softball, but then realized my ride had told me she couldn't pick me up today. So it was 4:45 PM and I had to be there at 5. So, I went in my garage and had to pull a bike down from the ceiling (it was heavy) and had to ride a mile up to Davis on a bike with a too high seat in 10 minutes. Got there on time and then after already being sore from the ride, had to play softball. :-D Let's not forget the best part where I start my period on the way home riding my bike in the dark...all alone. Get home at like 7:15 PM, run to the bathroom to grab a pad, and guess what?!? ALL OUT. Dammit! Then I just watched TV and talked online for the rest of the night! But it was an eventful day to say the least. Alright, any moment now my mom will be yelling down the stairs for me to go to bed, so here, I'll save her bitching ass the trouble. Nite everyone. ;)

2003-03-18T23:38:00.000-05:00

IMPORTANT: Bill Kady's 15th Birthday! I love this kid and he is my BFF!

Tonight I had to study for C++ (didn't exactly do that) and I won't be surprised when I end up failing the class! :-\ O, and me and Ashley had a very interesting conversation about Jennifer Garner! lol! Ash we are soo GAY! lmao! *lesbian experience* with Charlie! lol! We have fun even if we aren't hangin' out, it's so great! After that I talked to Jenn and Charlie, but Jenn fell asleep at her keyboard and me and Charlie TRIED to study for C++ afterwards. Okay, mom is yelling at me "I told you to be in bed by 11!" >:o Sorry, MOM that isn't exactly possible! Nighty nite everyone!

P.S. Billy, Happy Birthday! ILU!

2003-03-18T23:26:00.000-05:00

Into the Dark
*~The Juliana Theory~*

[Chorus]
In your eyes I see a darkness that torments you
And in your head where it dwells
I'd give you my hand if you reach out and grab it
Let's walk away from this hell

2003-03-16T23:19:00.000-05:00

Tonight was so great! Ash Jenn and Charlie, ILU guys so much! Everytime we hangout is so awesome! Soo many insiders! We make the best FUDGE! I wouldn't want to spend my weekends any other way than with you three! Watchin' ALIAS and chillin' at my house til 11:00 PM on a school night! It doesn't get much better than that! ARINA! lol. Next time we're going over Ashley's and watchin' 8 Mile while chillin' in her hot tub! 8-) BFF! MuaHz! :-* ;)

P.S. Ashley saw my vagina! :o) LOL!

2003-03-16T16:21:00.000-05:00

Today is FUDGE DAY! (fudge n. A soft, cooked candy containing sugar, butter, and a flavoring, as chocolate.) lol. Jenn Ash and Chuggin' Charlie are on their way so I gotta get ready! MuaHz! ;)

2003-03-15T16:47:00.000-05:00

I'm weed! Too bad I DON'T do drugs! lmao! *crosses fingers* lol. Just like last night how Jenn does NOT drink! ;) Mike's Hard Lemonade and Charlie chugging the Foster's! (Australian for BEER) good times!

2003-03-15T16:43:00.000-05:00

See what drug you are.

2003-03-15T15:56:00.000-05:00

tour-ni-quet n. A device used to temporarily stop the flow of blood through an artery.

2003-03-15T15:45:00.000-05:00

haze n. A fog-like suspension of dust, smoke, and vapor in the air; a confused or vague state of mind.

2003-03-15T15:40:00.000-05:00

cloy v. to make one sick or disgusted with too much sweetness. -ly adv.

2003-03-15T15:29:00.000-05:00

Tourniquet
*~Evanescence~*

I tried to kill the pain
But only brought more
I lay dying
And I'm pouring crimson regret and betrayal
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming!
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation!
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation!

Do you remember me?
Lost for so long
Will you be on the other side?
Or will you forget me?
I'm dying, praying, bleeding, and screaming!
Am I too lost to be saved?
Am I too lost?

My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation!
My God, my tourniquet
Return to me salvation!

My wounds cry for the grave
My soul cries for deliverance
Will I be denied Christ?
Tourniquet
My suicide...

2003-03-15T15:22:00.000-05:00

Today Jenn and possibly Manda are coming over to make FUDGE for chemistry extra credit! Yeah, so that's not until 6, so I think I will fool around with this journal until then!

2003-03-15T15:03:00.000-05:00

eb-ul-li-tion n. The process of boiling or bubbling; a sudden release of emotion.