ebullition.blogspot

Pent up with anger from people that I hate
They depress me to the point where I sit and contemplate
I wonder why I associate with people who bring me down
They don't bring out any positive, the negative surrounds
Looking for the bright side, my sight is besieged with gray
In disbelief that the little things can ruin my whole day
Instead of speaking my mind directly to their faces
I wander off and find myself in distant dark places
I'm alone here, writing my feelings as they break the surface
This is my refuge, my salvation from being nervous
It's all I can grip on to that will relieve me from this strife
Without my sanctum, I'm as cold as the blade of a steel knife
The knife that calls my name with conviction and desperation
The answer to my problems and all my devastation
No one understands the pressure pushing on your back
Closer to the edge with every realization of what you lack
Easily disturbed, easily frustrated, and easily upset
I am my own worst enemy, I am my own worst threat
With every word revealed is a burden lifted from my grief
The sun creeps above the horizon, a sudden feeling of relief
Clarity restored, no more problems to worry about
After another line is written, I fix another doubt
Now to face the music, as I triumph confusion again
My conscious has matured, but this is not the end
People cannot step on me, I reside higher than all of this
I'm oversensitive and I see why they say "ignorance is bliss"

Have you ever said "Yes", when you wanted to say "No"?
Or had a hard time getting over something and just couldn't let go?
Have you ever wanted something so bad, that it was all you could think about?
Or have you ever had what you wanted, and still been filled with doubt?
Do you know what it's like, to know you've made a mistake?
But you couldn't change it back, and that's what you couldn't take?
Have you ever done something that wasn’t worth its cost?
And then released your tears at the realization of what you’d lost?
Have you ever been with someone, but been thinking about someone not there?
Or lead someone on to believe you when in truth you didn’t care?
Have you ever made an obtuse mistake and apologized that same day?
And expected that since you apologized everything would simply be okay?
Have you ever ignored the feelings that tore you up inside?
And it was transparently obvious that you had something to hide?
Have you ever wanted to do something, but couldn’t find the right way to?
And hesitated to act on your feelings and follow them through?
Has someone ever given you the butterflies inside of your heart?
But you couldn’t be with that person and that’s what tore you apart?
Have you ever desired to tell a person that you think you’re in love with thee?
Or have you ever told the person you loved, “You mean everything to me”?
Do you ever hold back the truth from those that mean the most within?
‘Cause you’ll have to admit the lies and you don’t even know where to begin?
Have you ever had a secret that churned inside and you wanted to reveal?
Don’t you hate that the best things in life are those that you have to conceal?
Have you ever thought about something and been overwhelmed with fear?
Or have you ever imagined someone and the image was crystal clear?
Have you ever been with someone and it just felt so right?
And that made you realize that the battle was worth the fight?
Have you ever had your heart tell you what you should try to strive for?
Or has your heart ever felt so strong that your mind has no control anymore?

I haven't made any entries in a while! Didn't tell anyone about my weekend either! :-\ I'll update you! lol!

FRIDAY:
I went to Mallory's with a bunch of people. Chilled by the fire, ate marshmellows :-P, jumped on the trampoline, and watching Lucy and Nick makeout! :-* It was a pretty great time! I made one fatal mistake, that made me realize: don't kiss people you don't like. Kissing someone you don't have feelings for is like kissing a wall! No fun! (unless you're into walls) :-\ lol! I started the fire up again by throwing hay into it with Jenn. lol! I made fire! I got picked up around 11 PM and went home!

SATURDAY:
Dave & Buster's with the YEE family and Ashley. I charged my power card up with $10 worth of points. Fifteen minutes later: all out of points. lol! Jenn, Ash, and I all played a horse racing game and lost to a bunch of little boys :-\ lol! Kinda sad...but oh well! I won a little radio too! I guess that was worth $10, right? ha! Afterwards I went over Ashley's and chilled over there 'til late around 11 PM. Our night was spent on the computer, surprise surprise. But, I managed to have a great time! :-D lol. My brother and I had a crazy ride home. Not really crazy, but funny. Some bitch cut us off, so we followed her for like 3 miles! lmfao! 5/17/03 - - good times.

SUNDAY:
I went shopping at the mall with my mother, which doesn't happen often. I found a dress for formal and made an appointment to get my hair done. I got home and setup plans to get together with Dwyer and YEE for our DOE final exam project. We got to drop eggs from different heights on different surfaces (grass, cement, and dirt)! It was great fun! lol! ;) Then back to my house: back to homework: back to school the next day.

THE END! :-D